It was around the year 1998 when I first saw my mom on the floor crying after my biological father had hit her and knocked her over; an image I'll never be able to shake off my mind. Without doubt my mother had found herself in an abusive relationship and the only way out... was to divorce. After much thought, and me having merely 7 or 8 years of age, my mom decided to leave my dad and never to look back. My dad was an engineer and he had not let my mom study or work; he had barely allowed her to have friends and interact with the outside world so upon divorce she had nothing, owned nothing, and was left with just me and my sister who was 4 years younger than me. Then... court battles began. Needless to say, in a "system of justice" where money matters more than justice, my father had all the resources he needed to ensure we would get bare minimum... and we did. With our house falling apart, we in several occasions had close to nothing to eat and I'll never forget the one day there was nothing but tomatoes in the fridge and tomatoes we had for breakfast and lunch.
In all the 'horrible-ness' of divorce, I saw my mom suffer a lot for many things. Many times I could hear her cry herself to sleep and... well... there was not much I could do for her but pray. Even though I was a kid, I believed in God. I believed that if there was One that could help my mom get out of the situation she was in, was Him. Fast-forward 23 years later, yes I definitely saw how God intervened and blessed us in many ways, but the core of my petitions, my true deep asks to God with respect to my mom's situation... I never got a response from Him. Many things I've been praying for 23 years without a response... the questions becomes obvious, doesn't it? Where is God when we need Him the most? Why He seems to keep silence when we need to hear His voice?
In Romans 8:28 the Bible says:
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28
To an 8 year old kid, who witnessed abuse and witnessed the effort and devotion his mom had towards God and instructing her kids to follow Jesus... this verse almost makes no sense. Even more than that, to any person in the world who believes and follows Jesus / God and has experienced something terrible, this verse sounds... hypocritical. How could my mom's suffering, and crying nights, and financial struggles possibly work for good? It wasn't until many years after 1998 that I perhaps learned or understood why God, many times, keeps silence and why things do, in the end, work for good.
Something important to note though... when I say "in the end they work for good", I also include cases where that "end" is Jesus' second coming. As sad as it sounds, as terrible as it sounds, many of us will go into our tombs not having received an answer from God, but God promises to make it right when Jesus returns. The thing is, things will work together for good. As always, let's go to the Bible and study when God keeps silence, and even more than that, study why everything do indeed work out for good despite everything surrounding a situation points out to the opposite.
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A Life-Changing Sermon
It should not be a surprise that for years I carried some resentment towards God for not answering my questions with respect to my mom. In full honesty disclosure, even to-date, sometimes that frustration awakes within me that makes me 'angry' with God. Certain day a few years back I came across a sermon preached by Pastor David Asscherick that definitely put everything into perspective for me. Here I just want to share that sermon with you - the rest of what we'll discuss is based on what I learned from that sermon.
Simply put... God does make everything work for good for those who love Him, even though those who love Him are sometimes left without a clear-cut response. The Bible definitely speaks to this and this what we'll be talking about for the rest of this topic.
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Jesus & Lazarus
Although I'll be posting parts of the Bible in this section, it would be best for you (and highly recommended) to open the Bible and read John 11. In this chapter we find the story of Lazarus... let's read the beginning of the chapter:
"Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick." When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was..." - John 11:1-5
From the context and the characters involved, we can very easily state that Jesus was emotionally involved with Lazarus and his family. Mary had been the one who had wiped Jesus' feet with her hair and as the verse read, Jesus loved Lazarus. They were friends, they were buddies. At some point in time they sat together and perhaps ate together; if they had cellphones I would imagine Lazarus would be one of those that would send a text to Jesus checking in and asking Jesus how things were going. Jesus LOVED Lazarus. In fact, they were so close to each other than when the sisters sent a message to Jesus they didn't even bother asking Jesus to come! They said, as the verse reads: "...he whom You love is sick.". They were SURE Jesus would come, they did not felt the need to ask Him directly. They knew, Jesus would come and save His friend. Now I know you're thinking about the last sentence I marked in red... I did too.
Jesus' friend whom He loved was very sick; He was told so by the messenger. Yet, knowing this information and knowing by the context of the verses that Jesus was NOT far from where Lazarus was, maybe a few miles away... Jesus decided to stay 2 more days where He was. Let that sink in... Jesus' friend is dying, the sisters are anxiously waiting for Jesus to come, and the messenger comes back empty handed. No Jesus, no response. Jesus stayed where He was as if nothing had happened. I would imagine the Martha and Mary to be constantly looking through the house windows hoping to see Jesus walking towards them. I would imagine that every time someone knocked on the door they anxiously ran towards it to open up and hope to see Jesus... but they got no such thing. They just got some very long hours of absolute silence and Lazarus, eventually... died without having heard from his friend Jesus. It might be the case that you know how this feels, if so I am very sorry to hear that and my heartfelt condolences; it might be the case that you have not experienced something like this but try and put yourself in their position and reflect on how would you feel...?
Your friend Jesus, only a few miles away, someone who you love and you know loves you back, someone you know can heal your family member in a second, decides not to show up nor respond for days and your family member dies. What do you make of this? Let's keep reading the Bible:
"... So when Jesus came, He found that he had [Lazarus] already been in the tomb four days. Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles away. And many of the Jews had joined the women around Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother. Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.” - John 11:17-22
Four days into the tomb my friend... not 1, or 2, or 3... but 4. Talk about feeling that God is not there when you need Him the most. You can almost feel the tone in which Martha says "... if You had been here, my brother would not have died.". A tone of desperation, frustration, sadness, yet she did not lost her faith. Lazarus was dead, had been for 4 days... finally Jesus showed up. One would say "too little, too late". The question is... was it?
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Jesus & John the Baptist
Perhaps most of us are familiarized with the story of John the Baptist. The man of faith and strong spiritual conviction who baptized hundreds including Jesus, found himself in prison. You can read about the early life of John the Baptist on Matthew chapter 3.
"In those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!”- Matthew 3:1-2
A man who spent most of his time in the wilderness and preached about the gospel and about Jesus' coming to the masses, a man of God, a man born to serve... found himself in prison. Now I want you to notice the conviction this man had when he saw Jesus for the first time. We find this verse in John 1 which expands upon the story of John the Baptist and Jesus' baptism:
"The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! This is He of whom I said, ‘After me comes a Man who is preferred before me, for He was before me.’ I did not know Him; but that He should be revealed to Israel, therefore I came baptizing with water.” - John 1:29-31
John was convinced that Jesus was the Son of God. He saw right through Jesus' character and appearance and saw the living God made flesh. This man was truly connected with God. Now, fast forward to Matthew 11 and we see the same John now in prison. We know, from Matthew 14 verses 3-4 that John went to prison because he wanted to be a righteous man and called others to repentance and honor. Being in prison is naturally tough, but being in prison for having done nothing wrong, being in prison after living a free life in the wilderness, being in prison after having served God for your entire life... must be terrible. Even more than that, history have come to show that prisons back then were not the prisons we have now with air conditioning and recreation time and cooked meals... prison back then were usually dungeons with scarce if not any sun light. Those places would break you apart. So we have John in prison, and let's notice what he does in Matthew 11, what he asks:
"Now it came to pass, when Jesus finished commanding His twelve disciples, that He departed from there to teach and to preach in their cities. And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples and said to Him, 'Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?'" - Matthew 11:1-3
Wait a second... re-read that statement and read it once more. The same man who had very boldly and directly stated: "Behold, the Lamb of God..." is now asking Jesus whether He indeed was Jesus? What had happened? Well, I'll tell you... prison happened. John's questions is the polite way of saying: "aren't you Jesus? Why am I rotting in this place?" John was desperate, he was in so much anguish from where he was that he even began to formulate doubt in his mind about his encounter with Jesus. Just image how John must've been feeling; devastated. Jesus, of course, sends word back re-assuring John that He indeed was the Son of God.
Now, at this point, having heard back from Jesus and knowing the power of Jesus and the miracles He had been performing, I would imagine that a spark of hope lighted in John's soul. He must've felt instant relief and perhaps even thought he would be out of the situation he was in very soon. Days passed, weeks, months maybe (the Bible is not very specific on this timeline) and one day a guard came through the door and began walking John outside of his cell. You can read this in Matthew 14: 6-12. I would imagine John perhaps thought in his mind he was getting out of where he was, maybe he already felt the sun hitting his skin... instead he found himself in the execution chamber about to lose his head. Without having tasted the gift of freedom again, John was executed in that cell.
You tell me. Knowing John, his past, his convictions, his faith in God... it is not hard to imagine that day in and day out he prayed and asked God for an exit. He wanted to go back out there and preach some more, baptize some more, be free once more! After having heard from Jesus because he sent messengers, John didn't heard anything ever again. He never left those dungeons and died alone. Talk about being in a terrible situation, needing God more than ever, and receiving nothing. I have to remind you, this the same John that Jesus was speaking about when He said:
“Assuredly, I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he..." - Matthew 11:11
... the greatest spent the last portion of his life abandoned in a dungeon, alone, and eventually was beheaded. The thought that follows is sort of obvious... this should not have been the way it should've gone for the greatest of all. Yet... it was.
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All Things Work for Good
The Bible is full of examples in which God decided to keep silence when people that followed and honored Him needed Him the most. Joseph was sold as a slave and separated from his family, Daniel was thrown into the lion's nest, Stephen was martyred - stoned to death, and perhaps the most shocking of all, Jesus Himself was left without a response:
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.”He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” - Matthew 26:36-39
If we continue reading that chapter (Matthew 26) after the verses that we just read, we find Jesus asking in prayer the exact same thing 2 more times for a total of 3. Now, one does not ask a question more than once if we have already received an answer. The fact that Jesus prayed the same prayer 3 times in extreme anguish to the point of sweating blood, means that despite all the pain and prayer and his obvious close connection with His Father in heaven, Jesus was left without a response. In the midst of being crucified, beaten, spat on, mocked, bloody, in pain, Jesus said:
"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?' that is,'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?'" - Matthew 27:46
Jesus himself felt abandoned and left without a response.
My friend, my brother, my sister... God does not always answer. He does not always intervene, not because He doesn't want to or because He just enjoys ignoring us, but because He knows better. God has a plan for you, God has a plan for me, and only God has access to it. He can show us bits here and there, but only in His mind is the entire picture of our purpose and mission. We now know because of the Bible, that in each and every single one of the cases we just studied, and in the many others in the Bible where God kept silent, in the end all things did worked for good. Not in our time though... in His.
Lazarus was resurrected for the glory of God and saw Jesus, his friend, one more time. John will see Jesus' face one more time and enjoy an eternity with God, Jesus saved and redeemed the human race, Joseph was made 2nd in power to Pharaoh and saved a nation, Daniel was considered the wisest in the Kingdom... and you, friend, you will see in God's time why God kept quiet when you needed Him the most. I know we live in an era when we want answers here and now, but all we can do for now is patiently wait in the Lord because He promises to make it up to us. Don't lose faith, and patiently wait.
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Conclusion
After more than 20 years, perhaps I'll never get an answer to my prayers for my mom. Perhaps I'll need to wait for God's time. The thing is... I know God will answer me one day at his own time. God never fails friend, He never "messes up". Whichever pain or situation you are going through, know that you're not alone and that God sympathizes with you even when you don't feel like He is. Is tough to live in this fallen world, but Jesus already paid the ultimate price for you, me, and all of our loved ones. It is up to us to have faith and believe He will come through.
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer,I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33
He overcame it. He loves you. He will give you an answer and in the end you will see... that for those who love God, all things do indeed work out for good.
Thank you for sharing this time with us. As always, feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, concerns or suggestions. God bless you and until next one!
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