Well hello and welcome back once again my beautiful friend. As always, it's a great pleasure to have you here with me today. Not so long ago I sat down with my wife to have a conversation and, among many other topics, we talked about the topic of forgiveness. More specifically, we talked about what exactly does it mean to forgive? If a person hurts us badly, do we need to still be close friends and treat them nice? Is that forgiveness? Is forgiving tied to taking and embracing abuse? If I break ties with a person because that person hurt me... is that me not being able to forgive and be spiritually mature?
These were some of the questions that we touched on on our discussion. Naturally, I thought that the answers that we were looking could be found in the Bible simply because God is the God of mercy and forgiveness. Jesus came to live a life of example to us so, surely, He must've taught us what does it mean to forgive. No? Well, this post is for us to discuss just that. Stay tuned :)
As it is our custom, I invite you to first take a look at this posts' video which is, in a sense, a summary of what we'll be discussing much more in detail throughout this post. Without further ado, let's watch:
Thoughts? Let's get right into our study.
Jesus. Bible. Forgiving.
In the famous, beautiful, and ground-breaking 'Sermon of the Mount' we find Jesus talking about forgiveness in a very radical and special way:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? - Matthew 5:38-46
At a first glance it might look that Jesus is teaching us that we should just take on anything that comes our way, any offense, any disrespect, and just put a smile on our face, shake it off, and business as usual. But, is this what Jesus is truly saying? Is this what 'forgiving' means? Before we begin carefully analyzing the verses we just read, let's just take a minute and review Jesus' life on earth and how did He approached, on His own life, the forgiving component.
A careful read of the Gospel books in the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) comes to show that Jesus was not "best buds" with the jew religious authorities (i.e. scribes, Pharisees...). Time and again we find Jesus very bluntly calling out the hypocrisy of these men:
“[Jesus speaking] Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." - Matthew 23:27-28
These men, dressed as people blessed and directed by God, acting as "saints", were indeed hypocrites. The entire chapter of Matthew 23 is Jesus calling out the evilness and hypocrisy of these men. Regardless of the evilness in their characters and attitudes, however, we find Jesus pronouncing these words to His father while these men were crucifying Him:
"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing...'" - Luke 23:34
Furthermore, right before the crucifixion, we find Jesus stating the following:
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" - Matthew 23:37
I don't know about you but for me, when I read these verses, I feel an absolute, unique, and pure display of love, mercy, and forgiveness. You see, Jesus was discontent with the hypocrisy of these men when it came to living a life that honors God because they were completely misrepresenting who God truly was and stand for. They were misleading people and teaching human-doctrines as God-given doctrines; Jesus, being one with God, clearly disliked this and called them out for their hypocrisy... still, not once He stopped loving these men and trying to show them the way.
Jesus didn't wished evil upon these men, He didn't nurtured hate towards them. He just wanted them to accept His teachings and come to the realization of who God truly is... unfortunately, their pride and self-ambition prevented them from accepting Jesus. Without a second thought Jesus would have accepted these men if they had come to Him with repentant hearts... but time and time again they rejected the call. He called out their hypocrisy, He clearly wasn't close to them (because they rejected Him), but that didn't prevent Jesus from displaying love towards them and ask His Father for their forgiveness.
Hopefully by now you now know where I am going with this. Jesus didn't had a close relationship with them, yet, He never wished them wrong. He never nurtured resentment. 100% he forgave their actions towards him and, on a minute's notice, He would've gladly received them if they would've come and repent for the things they did. Jesus kept the door open... the problem was that they did not chose to enter it.
So how does forgiving looks like?
Not too long ago I sat down to watch the series of Pastor David Asscherick and Pastor Ty Gibson titled "Kingdom Manifesto" in YouTube (check it out here); the series is based on Jesus' Sermon of the Mount found in Matthew. In one of the chapters Pastor Ty Gibson shares a story in which a woman came to Him asking Him how could she forgive another person. The pastor then proceeded to ask a set of questions like: "Do you want something bad to happen to that person?", "Do you hate that person...?"... the answer from the woman for all the questions was: no. Then the Pastor proceeded to tell her: "You have already forgiven that person".
Get it? See the connection to what we just read and discussed about Jesus' life? In Matthew 5:38-46 Jesus is not teaching us to take it all and be best friends. Jesus is teaching us that we need to learn to let go. It is OK to take distance, to not be best friends, to not talk, to not share experiences... but that we should not do is foster anger, hate, or bad feelings towards the person. If a person wrong us, it is ok to feel hurt and to distance ourselves, but we should always be willing to receive that person back should the person comes seeking forgiveness. Are you following me?
God loves us all, but he can't force himself on those who don't want to receive them; His door is open for those who want to seek Him. Jesus displayed this same love and forgiving nature when He came to this earth... and we're invited to follow Jesus' steps. You were hurt? LEARN TO LET GO. When you think about how much wrong the person did to you and question whether you should, remember that your debt and offense was MUCH BIGGER and, still, you were forgiven.
Never forget.
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